Wear what you feel

I see a lot of tweets, and hear people out in real life, commenting on what another person is wearing.  It’s usually not the nicest thing, even if it’s couched, as friendly advice.  Often the words, “I’m just saying”  Or, “I’m sorry but, …” are in there somewhere.  Where’s the love?  If you are satisfied with yourself, truly, then what other people look like, and wear, doesn’t matter to you.  No matter how unusual or unflattering you find someone’s outfit; how you think of them, or what you remark about them, says more about you than you realize.  “I’m so afraid of being judged, I’d never have the courage to wear whatever I wanted.”  Is that what you mean to tell the rest of us, when you lean into the nearest stranger and sneer, “Oh my god did you see that hair?”

Some random acts of kindness you might have heard of, people paying the toll for the car behind them, or for the cup of coffee the next guy orders.  Try this one, when you see someone wearing something you find unacceptable for whatever reason, stop and ask yourself why.  And no turning it back to the stranger, sputtering indignantly about tube tops and the lack of bras, look only at yourself and ask, “Why am I so upset, repulsed, angry?”  It’s only life.  What did you wear in your youth?  What weren’t you allowed to wear?  Giving yourself a moment of clarity and kindness might bring you to passing on the favor.  How insanely boring would it be if our inner fashion police ruled the world?  Exactly, zzzzzzzzzzz.

See people and focus on something beautiful about them, their eyes, the brightness of their outfit, their poise, the smile they freely give to others, . . . their courage to wear what they want.   And just for a moment, allow yourself to imagine an outfit you’ve always wanted to wear, and forget what you’ve been told about matching, appropriate-ness, fashionable, body type, all of that.  Give yourself the time to smile at the idea of being free to express yourself, without anyone judging you.  Feels good doesn’t it?


4 thoughts on “Wear what you feel

  1. Kim

    I totally agree with you there! My daughter, when little, used to wear the most mismatched outfits! She was creative and even though sometimes I wanted to tell her to change, I didn’t. I didn’t want to crush her creativity.

    Today she is at an age where she wants to “fit in” wearing what everyone else is wearing, however, I know deep down she wants to wear the blue floral tiedyed skirt with the matching top!!

    1. serenitywriter Post author

      : ) I remember a few days when I let my oldest wear whatever she wanted, and after her choice was made, I really really wanted to tell her to make sure she told her teacher that she dressed herself. But I didn’t because she’d want to know why. And same as yours, when she got older she corralled herself in a bit more than she wanted I’m certain of it. Such an unimportant thing like clothes, how did they become so important to us?

  2. Oleana George

    People who are dressed like a “trainwreck” usually have the best stories and are the most interesting people to sit next to at dinner parties… Like me. : )


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