what if loving yourself is the key?

I’ve been meditating on the idea of loving myself.  I know, it sounds odd doesn’t it?  When this first came up years ago, I remember thinking, “That’s crazy, of course I love myself.”  and then I dismissed the idea that I had any sort of work to do.  Ehem.  Recently, I’ve been given the impression I still have a little ways to go on that score.  Actually, it wasn’t an impression, it was clear as a bell, there is still something left undone.  Gotcha.

During the next meditation, my favorite Buddhist monk shows up, and I ask him which direction I might go in so that I can learn to fully love myself.

I got back another riddle like, non answer-question, “Which comes first, loving the self or loving others?”  With that came a visual of a hallway with a closed door in the middle of it.  The door opened, closed, opened and closed, and I understood that I control this. When I get to where I want to be, there will be no door.  It will disappear, leaving an opening for the free flow of love, without hindrance.

So far I’m pondering what makes up the door, judgment comes to mind.  What else do we use to close ourselves off from one another, expectation?  Attachment?  I’ve stopped there for awhile, the doors here, are locked.  Duhn duhn duhn… it get’s curiouser and curiouser.


6 thoughts on “what if loving yourself is the key?

  1. Kim

    Love this!! What does stop us from loving ourselves? For me its old habits, old cassette tapes playing in my head. I KNOW in my mind I should love myself, yet I tend to put myself in situations that are not so self-loving.

    I am working on this and am determined to be kind and gentle and compassionate with me. More now that ever.

    Thanks for sharing !! xxoo

  2. serenitywriter Post author

    Thank you for your comment Kim. What I want to add is that, every time a person lives a moment that shows love for themselves, speaks their truth, they show the rest of us it can be done. xo

  3. Patricia

    This is another theme I meant to comment on. A few years ago I started creating houses with wings (in clay) I didn’t know what it meant at first but I had to do it. One day while out for a walk the reason for it hit me, I stopped and indulged in the thoughts and the realization of it made me cry. This is what I’ve discovered; Love begins with ourselves, loving ourselves for who we are, accepting our true selves. I believe if you can do that, love yourself unconditionally, you will always feel at home no matter where you are. Realizing this can set you free from a lot of unnecessary burdens you unconsciously carry around . Or something like that. 🙂
    I hope you don’t mind but here is a link to the houses and more of a description.

  4. serenitywriter Post author

    Thanks for writing Patricia – I don’t mind the link at all. Those houses remind me of the mural painted in the movie “Pleasantville”… where books were painted with wings.
    It does seem as if loving yourself is step one towards accepting and loving others. But I wonder if I’m learning to love myself by allowing myself to feel and accept how much others love me. Just as I am. My youngest comes to mind a lot on this topic, the way she loves me and says it no matter the when, she doesn’t care if I have bed-head, she’s not looking at those outer ‘mask’ things, she just loves me. And if she loves me, why don’t I feel that way about me? The whole ball of wax gets rolling and I start looking at the specific ‘why don’t I’s?” and the answers are usually old junk that doesn’t serve me any longer. Sometimes they are laughable pieces of old junk, other times not so much, but once I know of a thing, I can get to letting it go.


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