That’s no lemon, it’s a gift

I see things most people don’t.  At first I was scared to see lights around people.  Sure it was strikingly beautiful, but don’t crazy people see things that aren’t there?  I remember squeezing my eyes shut and telling myself, “I’m not seeing this.”  When I opened them again, it worked, the lights were gone.  I walked out choking back tears as I recalled the breathtaking beauty of a mall full of people shining with light.

Over time I’ve had to adjust to seeing more than lights around people, a heck of a lot more.  It’s been a crazy ride to say the least.  Some would call it a gift.  I didn’t, it made me unhappy to be different in a way that made so many people … uncomfortable.  Namely me.  Aren’t gifts supposed to make a person happy?  I wasn’t happy, I was questioning my sanity.  Thankfully, getting messages confirmed, when there was no way I could have known specific information, helped quite a bit.  That was a load off.  All the same, I spent a lot of time telling myself this is nice, but not really necessary.  I’d list the things I want to do with my life; raise my kids, travel, write, help people see the better parts of themselves in the least unusual way possible, and all … that other stuff (makes broad hand gestures to the side), didn’t make the cut.

I keep all this in the proverbial closet, which strikes me as fair since I didn’t ask for it.  I dust it off once in a while for close friends, the occasional stranger who has an especially persistent spirit around them, and I secretly use it while working with clients, who are often amazed when I can pinpoint their issues so well.

The other day I used the gift for a friend.  It was her birthday and as we chatted, loads of calls came through from passed on loved ones, and I told her about them.  People I never knew or heard of sent messages of love.  At the end of the exchange, they showed me a phone booth with a line of people waiting to use it.  They were laughing and sort of nudging me with this visual until I realized, I am the phone booth.  It turned out I wasn’t just relaying messages to a friend, but getting one for myself; follow your passions, follow the love.  The clincher came when someone else asked me how I felt when doing this work, and how I felt afterwards?  The whole time I feel the joy and love being sent, and afterwards I’m full of energy.  It’s pretty cool to have a part in showing people there is more love in the world than they knew.  I’m happy with that, thrilled even.

So, taking a deep breath, hearing Sam Jackson in my head saying, “hold onto your butts”, and shrugging my shoulders at folks who’ll invariably think I’m off my rocker, here I go.  Time to fully embrace this gift.


2 thoughts on “That’s no lemon, it’s a gift

  1. Angels of Secrets

    I don’t think you’re off your rocker, I think you’re EXACTLY where you need to be. People have a wide range of colors about them and all around them, its fantastic you’re one of them who can actually SEE it.

    Have you heard of the movie “Wake UP” with Jonas Elrod? The OWN network played it in one of the Super Soul Sunday shows. I think you’d REALLY enjoy it and find a lot in common with Jonas.

    Thanks for sharing, loved your post!


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