Girls, it’s not the distraction, it’s the erection.

Memo: regarding females protesting being told they are a distraction in school because of their clothes.

The truth has been kept hidden for so long, that many actually believe it is about the girls. That they should be sent home, lectured to, and covered up. But deep down we all know this is bull. Even when females wore loads of clothing, from cap covered heads to floor length skirt, males would fall into slobbering fits over the sight of a boot covered ankle, a bit of bare wrist, so it’s not how revealing clothing is.

It’s about the erection. Someone had to say it.

Newly minted teenage boys get fed-exed truckloads of hormones, and even when there is nothing remotely sexy going on, for example, he can be sitting with grandma while Matlock is on, and the hormones can begin to fight for their right to party. The male is now horrified and uncomfortable, not just because grandma is there but because the dress slacks he’s wearing are from last year. Mom refused to buy more because he’s growing out of them all the time and grandma won’t care if your hems are awaiting a flood.
Suddenly it’s very tight in places that only moments ago were not and Male A doesn’t know if he should get up and hide in the bathroom, stay put in case someone sees the bulge, or try to think of how to make it go away. He doesn’t know what to do. Men, remembering those embarrassing moments have fought long and hard, no pun, to hide this secret and put the blame on females, instead of teaching boys how to cope.

It’s been happening for so long now that most have begun to believe it really is about the female in the tank top, or the hoop skirt that flashes the bottom edge of petticoats. That’s how long this shit has been going on. Enough already. Now the erection truth is out. Girls, this is what happens to boys. It’s nothing to do with you. You want proof? It happens in their sleep while dreaming about nothing even remotely sexy. Damn hormones never stop fucking with all of us.

That includes girls. Sure we don’t have appendages springing up and crowding our pants, but that doesn’t mean we don’t get our own deliveries of hormones that try to throw righteous parties during algebra. Those early teen years are fraught with trying to act like a regular school kid while the urge to do things you used to think were gross, tries to overwhelm you. It’s nothing short of madness.

We all deserve a medal for getting through those years.

If you’re a boy and you find this to be happening to you, get a grip on it, (again, no pun intended) and figure out how to manage your penis and hormones. They are YOURS, no one can do it for you, and you’ll have them forever (ideally). It is no one else’s problem to solve but your own. Stop blaming girls. Talk to your friends, read a health book, go on-line. Do not get taken in by a porn site, this will not help.

Sure I know the music industry, Alcohol industry, The American Car Association, swimming pool corporations, clothing for both sexes, pretty much every thing that can be sold, has been marketed to us as if it’s all about the female form, but listen up, you cannot trust those fuckers. They just want to sell you something. Look at what the cigarette industry sold us. Is throat cancer sexy? No. Would James Dean, or (enter name of every hot young man or female since beginning of time here) have been sexy without a cigarette? Uh, the answer is YES.

And if you’re a schoolteacher telling yourself, and girls in your class, that they are distracting you with their bodies, You. Need. Help. You are no longer a pre-teen or teenage boy, and it is unacceptable for you to be stuck in that mindset. You’ve bought into the lie for so long you’re on the cusp of becoming a felon. Wake up and get control of yourself.

This has been an informational blog.
No promotional considerations have been accepted.


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